so in the past 48 hours, I have received the following pick up lines from minors.
I will state that I politely declined both advances due to the fact
1. they're minors
2. I could go to jail due to them being minors
3. THEY ARE MINORS
OK, so now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching cougar out on the prowl, wait is cougar even the right terminology. Cougar means 40+, I will only be 30 soon, so I'm going to go with being a Puma.
So now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching PUMA out on the prowl here are the lovely gems of pick up lines i have received recently.
at the Barnes and Noble
Me: reading a magazine
Minor: May I ask you a question
Me: ugh sure (looking at him kinda weird)
Minor: If I conjure a spirit bomb, would you release your energy to me
Me: (inside my head, whiskey tango foxtrot) I'm sorry, I don't know what a spirit bomb is...
Minor: It's OK, and don't apologize you're better than me anyway while walking away
Me: runs off to share delicious info albeit crazy experience
and now for today's amazing pick up line of the day...
Student: Mrs. Bafadjkfhaeur (teacher across the hall) will you be in my science experiment
Yes, Ladies this is what you have to look forward to when you reach Puma status, if you can joke about it, then you will do just fine. Just please let those poor poor young simba's down easily....
one glimmer of hope, at least I didn't get asked to the 8th grade prom by a student like another teacher on my campus.... (she politely declined as well, one it's illegal, two she's married)
I love em, I pink puffy heart love the whole thing!
sitting in the front row by the walk way...
hello foot rest on the metal railing
the smell of delicious popcorn
the cheesy ads for upcoming movies
This was supposed to be one of those lovely times.
it wasn't
Problem is when most of your friends are married, a movie outing with the girls is limited to ones the hubs doesn't want to see.
problem is, movies are now action packed so they can bring in the male audience
and I don't want to be a lamesauce and go to a movie myself.
so that leaves me with waiting til they come out on Direct TV or the DVD
so on Friday, I had friends who wanted to see not one but three movies total
They could see The Hunger Games
They could see This Means War
or 21 Jumpstreet
Picture me jumping for joy!!!!!!! then sadfacing it. WE NEVER MADE IT TO THE MOVIES, NOT EVEN ONE OF THE THREE.
We first tried, This Means War... but the theater was one of those new ones where you can pick your seat ahead of time, and buy dinner and have it brought to you. Well that's fabulous if you plan ahead, problem is my friends NEVER PLAN AHEAD, so seats were no more.
We then flipped a coin over the Hunger Games and 21 Jump Street. 21 jump street won the heads vs tails contest, and tickets were bought. We went in, we had time to kill and ordered cocktails and dessert. By the time the movie started, we couldn't find our waiter and when we finally made it to the theater, they were in the process of escorting students out (underage) and there were still no seats.
The supervisor kicking kids out, only happens to be a former student of mine.... looking all profesh with his walkie talkie. All he could offer was a refund or a ticket for another day since hunger games was sold out at that point
so we refund it, and head to our third restaurant of the night
LOVE and WAR
where a co-workers daughter works
we get in free
we get seated at a pretty posh picnic table
we get crayons
and we listen to a up and coming band named
MOCKINGBIRD SUN
hmm hunger games correlation?
nope, but what do they do have
a drummer playing a wooden box
a guitar player with tight jeans
and a song named
AFTER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was serenaded by a band
and the best line of the night out of many
Your pants are TIGHT!!!
no seriously, do you shop at the baby gap?
or hey can I have my keys
sure I'll call them
want photographic proof of awesome night
heck yes you do.....
how the night started
Please take a look at Friday's hours of operation for Texas Roadhouse
Tight Pants MaGee, you can see his hammies
a little mockingbird sun for your listening pleasure
night ended with a sighting of what we think is a chupacabra
