Dating Gems

so in the past 48 hours, I have received the following pick up lines from minors.

I will state that I politely declined both advances due to the fact

1. they're minors

2. I could go to jail due to them being minors

3. THEY ARE MINORS

OK, so now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching cougar out on the prowl, wait is cougar even the right terminology. Cougar means 40+, I will only be 30 soon, so I'm going to go with being a Puma.

So now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching PUMA out on the prowl here are the lovely gems of pick up lines i have received recently.

at the Barnes and Noble

Me: reading a magazine

Minor: May I ask you a question

Me: ugh sure (looking at him kinda weird)

Minor: If I conjure a spirit bomb, would you release your energy to me

Me: (inside my head, whiskey tango foxtrot) I'm sorry, I don't know what a spirit bomb is...

Minor: It's OK, and don't apologize you're better than me anyway while walking away

Me: runs off to share delicious info albeit crazy experience

and now for today's amazing pick up line of the day...

Student: ugh Ms. *GAFAUERTRGA ( gotta remain somewhat anonymous)

Me: Yes, can I help you

Student: I'm an 8th grader

Me: OK, go on

Student: Will you be my science experiment

Me: Huh?

Student: Yes, do you drink Diet Coke

Me: No

Student: oh, then it will never work out then

Me: I'm sorry

Student: Mrs. Bafadjkfhaeur (teacher across the hall) will you be in my science experiment

Yes, Ladies this is what you have to look forward to when you reach Puma status, if you can joke about it, then you will do just fine. Just please let those poor poor young simba's down easily....

one glimmer of hope, at least I didn't get asked to the 8th grade prom by a student like another teacher on my campus.... (she politely declined as well, one it's illegal, two she's married)

heart breaker breaker one nine out!