so in the past 48 hours, I have received the following pick up lines from minors.
I will state that I politely declined both advances due to the fact
1. they're minors
2. I could go to jail due to them being minors
3. THEY ARE MINORS
OK, so now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching cougar out on the prowl, wait is cougar even the right terminology. Cougar means 40+, I will only be 30 soon, so I'm going to go with being a Puma.
So now that we have established I'm not some crazed lifetime TV watching PUMA out on the prowl here are the lovely gems of pick up lines i have received recently.
at the Barnes and Noble
Me: reading a magazine
Minor: May I ask you a question
Me: ugh sure (looking at him kinda weird)
Minor: If I conjure a spirit bomb, would you release your energy to me
Me: (inside my head, whiskey tango foxtrot) I'm sorry, I don't know what a spirit bomb is...
Minor: It's OK, and don't apologize you're better than me anyway while walking away
Me: runs off to share delicious info albeit crazy experience
and now for today's amazing pick up line of the day...
Student: Mrs. Bafadjkfhaeur (teacher across the hall) will you be in my science experiment
Yes, Ladies this is what you have to look forward to when you reach Puma status, if you can joke about it, then you will do just fine. Just please let those poor poor young simba's down easily....
one glimmer of hope, at least I didn't get asked to the 8th grade prom by a student like another teacher on my campus.... (she politely declined as well, one it's illegal, two she's married)
I love em, I pink puffy heart love the whole thing!
sitting in the front row by the walk way...
hello foot rest on the metal railing
the smell of delicious popcorn
the cheesy ads for upcoming movies
This was supposed to be one of those lovely times.
it wasn't
Problem is when most of your friends are married, a movie outing with the girls is limited to ones the hubs doesn't want to see.
problem is, movies are now action packed so they can bring in the male audience
and I don't want to be a lamesauce and go to a movie myself.
so that leaves me with waiting til they come out on Direct TV or the DVD
so on Friday, I had friends who wanted to see not one but three movies total
They could see The Hunger Games
They could see This Means War
or 21 Jumpstreet
Picture me jumping for joy!!!!!!! then sadfacing it. WE NEVER MADE IT TO THE MOVIES, NOT EVEN ONE OF THE THREE.
We first tried, This Means War... but the theater was one of those new ones where you can pick your seat ahead of time, and buy dinner and have it brought to you. Well that's fabulous if you plan ahead, problem is my friends NEVER PLAN AHEAD, so seats were no more.
We then flipped a coin over the Hunger Games and 21 Jump Street. 21 jump street won the heads vs tails contest, and tickets were bought. We went in, we had time to kill and ordered cocktails and dessert. By the time the movie started, we couldn't find our waiter and when we finally made it to the theater, they were in the process of escorting students out (underage) and there were still no seats.
The supervisor kicking kids out, only happens to be a former student of mine.... looking all profesh with his walkie talkie. All he could offer was a refund or a ticket for another day since hunger games was sold out at that point
so we refund it, and head to our third restaurant of the night
LOVE and WAR
where a co-workers daughter works
we get in free
we get seated at a pretty posh picnic table
we get crayons
and we listen to a up and coming band named
MOCKINGBIRD SUN
hmm hunger games correlation?
nope, but what do they do have
a drummer playing a wooden box
a guitar player with tight jeans
and a song named
AFTER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was serenaded by a band
and the best line of the night out of many
Your pants are TIGHT!!!
no seriously, do you shop at the baby gap?
or hey can I have my keys
sure I'll call them
want photographic proof of awesome night
heck yes you do.....
how the night started
Please take a look at Friday's hours of operation for Texas Roadhouse
Tight Pants MaGee, you can see his hammies
a little mockingbird sun for your listening pleasure
night ended with a sighting of what we think is a chupacabra
I was coming out from the back of the house after dropping off glassware and had to stop at the drapes due to the fact that Ms. Gabrielle Union was literally a foot away from me.
It was pretty awesome
not gonna lie
If we had a moment to talk I have no doubt that we would be besties, but alas no such luck
just another fabulous day in the life of breaker breaker one nine
with the advent of twitter, instagram, and facebook I have the opportunity to connect to people around the world.
This blog has been read by people in Russia, Germany and Puerto Rico
Hallo
hola
привет
to my worldly peeps
but you want to know what something else, I can be a stage five stalker of cute puppies all over the world.
my little hipster self follows a lovely little Brussels Griffo named
what for it....
DIGBY VAN WINKLE
I must say, a very excellent and appropriate name for this handsome dapper and below are some doozies of this very energetic and playful guy
I now want to meet Mr. Digby and now want to add a Brussels Griffon to my own home and without ado, here is some lovely little photographs of Mr. Dixby Van Winkle
may I escort you to the ball, ma'am
such an lovebug
my blue steel model look, and I'm a dapper gentleman with my bow tie don't you think!
now, I am extremely respectful of all religions especially ones that could potentially cast out bad juju for disrespect. As we are touring Bourbon street and people watching we decide to enter into a Voodoo shop. You can purchase herbs, amulets, dolls, books and a whole lot of other stuff dealing with the practice of voodoo. All around they have idols in place for various idols. It was very interesting to speak with knowledgeable people on the subject. They had everything you could imagine you might need.
They also had a Tarot Card Reader
Now, the store was very crowded and I didn't want to have everyone and their dog witness, so we made our exit and then found another shop down the way. My friend J was drawn in by a shirt in the window, and then we realized that you could also get your Tarot Card Read.
I was in luck, he threw in a palm reading as well. I wish i would have recorded the session, because I am a skeptic at heart, and well he was spot on.
He asked my my name and where I was from and that is it.
Here is a breakdown of what he said
hard worker, but doesn't like to give up control
I hold things in, then I will burst kinda like a volcano
I'm in my head alot, and need to give myself a break
I need to tap back into my emotions, and not store them in a box
That if I don't accept change, then mother earth will change it for me and in the next 2 years give or take, big changes are going to happen in my life.
I'm not in the job I want to do for the rest of my life, but I don't yet know what it is
That I have to take a leap of faith
My friend J was squirming in her seat because she wanted to burst out that he was spot on!
